


you fell in love with a war

by knoxoursavior



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 08:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16114421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knoxoursavior/pseuds/knoxoursavior
Summary: Sing stays.





	you fell in love with a war

**Author's Note:**

> just finished the manga :(
> 
> this is unedited bc i wrote this to try and get my emotions out and i just.. didnt wanna reread bc it still feels like a Lot :( i hope its ok i hope yall like it :(

Sing stays.

Even after Eiji has finally confronted the part of himself that he’s stuffed into a box and put away where it can’t hurt him, even after Eiji has finally taken that first step to letting Ash go, Sing stays. He’s stayed with Eiji for seven years from guilt and regret and all these ugly feelings that have taken root in Sing’s chest and festered. For Ash, for Lao, Sing stayed.

Now, Sing stays for Eiji and Eiji alone. Eiji, who let Sing stay with him even after everything that happened all those years ago. Eiji, who chooses to live here in New York even though half of the city probably makes him feel like he’s drowning in his memories. Eiji, who still has days when he freezes up at any reminder of Ash. Eiji, who still has a heart of gold even after having it crushed so thoroughly for so long. 

Sing stays, and because he stays, he’s rewarded with days like this. Days where Eiji can think about Ash and not look like he’s about to cry, or like he’s about to close himself up and shrink into himself. Days that slowly but surely are getting more and more frequent.

It’s like a dam has opened ever since Eiji put up that photo of Ash in his gallery. He doesn’t run away from his memories of Ash anymore, doesn’t hide Ash away in a well-guarded corner of his heart, and Eiji is all the better for it. He’s really, truly recovering now and it’s good, it’s  _ good _ , and Sing finds himself unable to take a step away from it.

Today, they brave the library.

They don’t go inside, not yet, but they stand outside where Ash would have been stabbed, where he would have been running to Eiji after reading his letter. Eiji stands there, looking out onto the busy street in front of it, quietly mourning someone seven years dead.

Sing has grieved enough, from finding Ash smiling peacefully in the library to reading all of the essays he left behind—he’s cried enough, given enough of his life away to Ash. Now, he stands outside the library Ash frequented so much only so he can stay by Eiji’s side, be there for him now that Ash can’t.

And Sing knows he can’t replace Ash. He’s never been in Ash’s league, never been as good as him or as natural a leader as him, but Sing doesn’t want to be Ash. He just wants to live, to do better, to be the leader he wants to be. He wants to get his degrees and take good care of everything that he’s been entrusted with.

Most of all, he wants to stay here by Eiji’s side. He wants to stay here for as long as he can, until Eiji gets sick of him and asks him to leave.

Maybe that’s selfish, because Eiji will no doubt sense how Sing wants to stay with him and he’ll no doubt indulge Sing because that’s just the type of person he is. Selfless and caring and filled with so much acceptance and understanding. But Sing can’t find it in himself to care. Not yet, not anytime soon.

When Eiji finally tugs at Sing’s elbow so they can leave, he says, “Let’s go home, Sing.”

And for that, Sing thinks it’s worth it to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me abt banana fish on [tumblr](http://singeiji.tumblr.com/) :( i should probably go read fix it fics soon :(
> 
> also hey [this is the rebloggable version](https://singeiji.tumblr.com/post/178516517333/also-on-ao3-sing-stays-even-after-eiji-has) on tumblr


End file.
